Family and Youth Empowerment
Fatherlessness, the Social Ills of Society
By Pastor Wayne Carey
Sep 25, 2014 - 1:55:13 PM

Nothing shouts so loudly about society’s success as do the lives of our children, and the lives of our children are reflections of adult values children have learn by observation, imitation and repetition.

Throughout human history every powerful, wealthy nation at its pinnacle has relinquish its responsibility to instill the principles and virtues  that made it flourish, in the generations that follow. As a result, no society has ever survived its own success by staying on top. It has disappeared or lost its position as a global leader. Unless parents, Father’s in particular come and stand alongside their children and declare them blessed, society will wither and decay.

I was afforded the opportunity about two weeks ago to speak to Walter Parker’s School annual Dad's Day. I was amazed to see over four hundred father’s representing their children. The children were so excited to know that their Daddy’s was bringing them to school; I’ve never seen so much excitement on children's faces before. I must publicly thank Mrs. Angela Borrows, and the guidance counselor Ms. Tucker for choosing me as their guess speaker, anyone else could’ve been chosen. I’m humbled. The teacher’s and all the hard work and dedication that went into the planning of the Dad's Day deserve much more praises than I can ever give.

Fatherlessness is one of the social ills of our society that really needs to be looked at closely. We are experiencing a global economic down turn, that we label as a financial crisis. As a country we are challenge with fatherlessness that is to be considered a crisis, for the simple fact, it affects so many other areas of our communities

While having a group counseling sessions, I ask some of my male students to express themselves to their fathers as if he was standing in the classroom. I can never forget the dissatisfaction that was shown on their faces. They were disturbed and wanted to change the subject. “Mr. Carey, do we really have to? Ask one student, and I replied, “You have to, it's going to help you release some of your tension.”

I started the letter by saying, Dear Daddy, these are inner feelings that I have. However, I find it difficult to express.

The Student wrote, “You weren’t here then and are not here now. My life might have been different if you were here. It seems that you don’t want to have anyhing to do with me, but guess what I don’t need you; I don’t lotion man so you could carry your stink behind. Buddy if I see you I might punch you in your mouth. You spending money on other people, but don’t think I need it. I’ll make my own money, my own living. If I live fifteen years without you I could spend the rest."

This was a letter written about five years ago that I had to keep because it stood out. In this letter I saw a young man who was optimistic about his life. He believes that his life would’ve been totally different if his father was present in his life. He actually wanted his father in his life and it never happened. He later, expressed rejection, and covered it up as he didn’t care for his father being there. I saw anger and then violence in his letter. Most of our young males feel that they have been left alone to raise themselves, and that leads to frustration.

In the customs of the bible, the term father is used to denote the author or beginning of something. The originator of something.

Is 9:6, the Messiah is called the everlasting father or eternal father which means He is the author of eternal life.

Here are four things that fathers need to do:

• Fathers need to decide - Make a decision that no matter what happens between your wives or your girl friend that you are going to be there for your child. He/she needs you. You are the originator or the author of your children lives.

• Fathers need to declare  - Declaring what you envision, foresee, predict, or visualize. Throughout the ancient manuscripts the fathers would bless their children and this blessing would determine their children future. God has placed words of power in the father’s mouths, that what is said in the will of God happens. Father’s you need to come in agreement with God about the state of your children.

• Fathers need to direct - When we have spoken over the lives of our children it’s our duty to direct and lead them in the right path. For fathers to direct or lead, you should be in the right path yourselves.

• Fathers need to discipline -  The bible says that God chastises those that He loves. As fathers we can’t love our children so much that we don’t reprimand them. As fathers it’s our business to train and discipline our children.

In practicing these four things you will make a difference in the lives of your children, they will later on in life rise and call you blessed.

The hearts of the father must return to the sons, and the hearts of the sons toward the fathers to correct this social ill called fatherlessness.

Pastor Wayne W. Carey is a Youth and Assistant Pastor- Counselor- Conflict Resolution Strategist- Author- Speaker- Self-Esteem Elevation Coach Contact: Covenantman44@yahoo.com