Listening For Understanding ~ Be It Rather Than Do It
By Kaylus Horton, Path™ Coach
Nov 25, 2011 - 12:48:17 PM
Sometimes the words “I understand”, “I accept and respect your decision”, and “I honour your perspective” are enough to smooth over a turbulent situation and help to stabilize and maintain the integrity of the relationship be it personal or professional. It is okay to save the justifications and explanations for another day.
Today, your challenge will be to be a good listener rather than demonstrate the skill of listening.
My fellow Four Elements of Success™ colleague, noted speaker, workshop facilitator and coach Nicole Greer, Principal of Vibrant Coach headquartered in North Carolina, in her recent Facebook post captured and summarized the essence of us being listeners. Paraphrased she wrote;
“All too often people think of listening as a DO but I believe it to be a BE. Make sense? (My interjected comment ~ Nicole of course it makes sense as we are human beings not human doings). She continued, I have been doing a lot of watching YouTube, reading about brain science and study on Emotional Intelligence. I believe that Covey's seek first to understand then to be understood is emotional intelligence. Our aim is get out of our heads and into our hearts where others are concerned. We must feel what they are trying to say instead of judging their statements on the surface. People talk and talk, the reality is that they could benefit from receiving more love, compassion, empathy, attention, security and control. Giving them a listening ear or better yet your heart is what will change the world.”
How would your workplace be transformed for the better if associates applied habit # 5 Seek First To Understand Then To Be Understood from the acclaimed book and teaching series 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey?
Let us return to your challenge above to be a good listener rather than demonstrate the skill of listening? Do you know what makes the difference; it is the presence of a respecting heart that accepts from the perspective of what is “as is” with feedbacks such as the occasional nod and empathetic words similar to “I understand.”
Sometimes all people want is a good listening too.
Honoured to coach you forward,
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Kaylus Horton facilitates learning and discovery for focus and direction. She is the Principal of Dialogues a division of Renaissance Group of Companies.
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