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Columns Last Updated: Feb 13, 2017 - 1:45:37 AM

Children in Crisis
By Pastor Wayne Carey
Sep 20, 2014 - 2:09:01 PM

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A crisis usually involves a temporary loss of coping abilities, and the assumption is that the emotional dysfunction is reversible. If a person effectively copes with the threat of a crisis, he or she then returns to prior levels of functioning.

Children are resilient at heart; however they often struggle with rejection and neglect from their parents.

The Chinese character for “crisis” is made up of two symbols, one for despair and the other for opportunity. When doctors talk about a crisis, they are talking about the moment in the course of a disease when a change for the worse or better occurs. As a counselor when I talk about marital crisis, I’m talking about turning points when the marriage can go in either direction, it can possibly move toward growth, enrichment and improvement; or it can move toward dissatisfaction, pain and, in some cases dissolution.

When children are thrown off balance by an ensuing event, such as a father not returning home, these children are often experiencing a crisis. As adults we occasionally find it difficult managing our emotions when we have a petty argument at work with a coworker. So, can you imagine a child who analysis is very limited?

A crisis can be the result of one or more factors. It can be a problem that is too great or overwhelming, such as the death of a parent. I have seen children who begin to act out in school because they just didn’t know how to cope with the lost of their love one.

Crisis can cause delinquency in children. When I talk to children with absent fathers I normally asked them where you would be right now if your father was at home?  The response is always “I would not be in this position right now if daddy was firm with me.” I have come to know that children can be thrown off balance because of a divorce or separation, which is like a type of death to them.

Crisis is not always bad. Rather, they represent a pivotal point in a person’s life. Therefore, it can bring opportunity as well as danger. Nevertheless, in the majority of children’s lives it’s normally danger.  Webster defines crisis as a “crucial time” and a “turning point in the course of anything. This term is often used for a person internal reaction to an external hazard. How many times have we heard people say that “these young children are so angry” crisis is an upset in a person’s baseline level of functioning.

When you hear the word “crisis” what pictures or words pop into your mind? “Urgent.” “Upset” “Helpless” “Nonfunctional” “Hopeless” “Anxious” “Numb” “Hysterical”, “Dangerous”, “Out of control”

In many of our schools we have children who are acting out of control and no one seems to have the answers to there problems. Throughout our country we are now experiencing the increase of attempted suicide among children and adults like never. The reason is that they see no way out and have come to a place of despair and hopelessness.

Children with great potential are not functioning to their highest level for the reason that they have come to a crucial time in their lives when they need that emotional, physical, and financial support from their parents.

Children that are left alone to raise themselves will soon become rebellious and a nuisance to society for the reason that we have selfish parents that thinks only about themselves.

Children in crisis don’t need to be told that they are rude and disgusting; they already heard it a thousand times over.  They need persons that would recognize their cry for help. Your touch, your smile, your genuineness, your love, your concern for them will show them that some one in this world really cares about them.

Every child on planet earth needs to know that someone out there is crazy about them. Jesus rebuked his disciples when they would not allow the little children to come near him. Your child needs you in his/her life.

As a parent, if you have been disconnected from your child for what ever reason, please find it in your heart to reconnect with them. There is a need and a void that only you can fill.

Pastor Wayne W. Carey is a Youth and Assistant Pastor- Counselor- Conflict Resolution Strategist- Author- Speaker- Self-Esteem Elevation Coach Contact: Covenantman44@yahoo.com

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