To truly forgive is one of the most important, yet challenging lessons of our lives. We all have to learn them sooner or later. Why? Because otherwise there is no chance for freedom and happiness.

Every time your thoughts go into the past to remember a hurtful situation where you felt wronged, your emotions follow those thoughts; you relive the situation as if it is happening all over again. The damaging effects on your body by reliving a painful past are grave!

I don’t recommend sweeping painful experiences “under the carpet”, or pretend they are not there by suppressing them. No, that would not work because unresolved, negative feelings only grow uncontrollably until they erupt. When triggered, an overwhelming tidal wave of sorrow, anger, or aggression could be released, which would only increase the damaging effects on you and your body. Sometimes an innocent bystander may get the brunt of it, which is not only unfair, but also can be damaging to a relationship. Only persons who have gone through heavy trials themselves and learned the lessons of forgiveness have the capacity to receive the onslaught of dense energy that radiate from the “victim” attitude.

Have you ever entered a room, or circle of people where even only one of them radiated dense and negative energy? Do you remember how quickly it affected you? You probably felt exhausted afterwards. Dense, negative energy is like a “black hole”; it sucks in all available positive energy.

How do we let go of trauma from the past?

We all have either read, heard, or have been taught, that Love forgives all things, bears all things etc. If you have mastered this high degree of unconditional Love, congratulations, you have made it! You have achieved the ultimate mastery over your Ego. For the rest of us it is a struggle.

Maybe I can help by showing you how to involve your Ego in the forgiveness process. The Ego wants to be right, it grows on fear to lose something; mainly control. Maybe we can trick the Ego; instead of defending the outer we will turn the Ego’s attention on defending and protecting our inner Selves.

How do we do this?

Here are a few suggestions that will work if you follow through:

Firstly, you have to ask yourself a few questions. No, not the one: “why did he/she do this to me “! Or “ this should not have happened to me”! These questions are statements that only take you deeper into your misery. Don’t even ask yourself if you have in any way contributed, or provoked this hurtful situation. Although this would be already a step up from the first questions, yet it still keeps you in a state of sorrow. It is much easier to recognize your conscious, or un-conscious involvement after you have released the attached emotions of sorrow and pain.

Ask yourself if you want to be freed from your self-imposed prison of returning thoughts of misery. Who do you really hurt? Do revengeful thoughts have any affect on the person you feel wronged by? No? Of course not! Does it make any sense to have endless conversations going on in your head about why this awful thing in the past happened to you? Nobody but you is listening in anyway; you have arguments and dialogues with nobody, with phantoms! Isn’t this fruitless and outright exhausting? Yes I know it is; I have done it myself. So the ego can help you here to recognize that the only thing you accomplish is hurting yourself continuously. Become aware of it, and stop it right away! Now you are on your way to calm down and see and feel more clearly. You may recognize that we all play out certain scenarios to help us in understanding others and ourselves better. You are not responsible for the behavior of others; not even when they hurt you. You are only in control of yourself. We tend to hide our pain and sorrows; yet these are exactly what we all have in common. It is the only way to grow. Self-love is the first step to forgiveness.

We are often jealous, sometimes happy for people who are in love, or have experienced good fortune. Would it not be more appropriate, even a greater cause for elation if we could celebrate the event of forgiveness?

Maybe we should throw “ forgiveness parties” , celebrating those who have let go of old, heavy baggage. For the gift of forgiveness is being able to move forward with new energy and wisdom. Making peace with the past releases us from our self imposed prison, bringing freedom and happiness.

Isn’t this what we desire most? Start today. If not now, when?

Your Partner in Health,

Angelika

For any question, or comments, or to find out how to sign up for personal or group coaching sessions, please contact Angelika.

242-373-2357 or 242-359-5550 or e-mail: radiantcouncil@mac.com