Our subconscious mind is a much stronger communicator than our conscious mind. Have you ever experienced trying with earnest to communicate a message to get what you want, only to receive the exact result you were praying you wouldn’t get? Studies in varying disciplines including, science, the metaphysical and even spiritual all agree that we don’t necessarily get what we want or hope for, but we get what we subconsciously expect.
Truly our experiences are simply a reflection of our belief systems and what we allow to permeate our minds. A simple example, someone who has been repeatedly rejected after interviewing for several different jobs can easily begin to believe no one wants to hire them. What then happens as they continue to go on job interviews? They may get super excited about the opportunity, they may practice giving all the right answers, but if deep down they expect another ‘no’, it is highly unlikely they will get the job. It may not have anything to do with qualifications. However, if they really expect this interview will end like the others, chances are they may subconsciously sabotage the opportunity. They may exhibit negative body language or facial expressions. They may mumble or fumble with their answers, it is not even uncommon that something will happen to make them late or some other circumstance may arise to disqualify the person who in their heart expects to be turned down once more.
Mastering our communication skills does not only involve good grammar, proper pronunciation, the ability to engage your audience and speaking with clarity. It also involves being in tune with what may be going on with you on a deeper level. I recently had a client who said that every time she had a morning where she really did not want to be bothered with her colleagues; that would be the morning that someone would say something to really test her patience. As we delved deeper, she admitted that whenever she was having one of those mornings, on her way to work she would repeatedly say to herself, “Watch someone say something to piss me off today.” And as envisioned, she was getting precisely what she anticipated.
Have you ever noticed; there are some people who are always on the receiving end of bad customer service? No matter where they go, they get the cashier who makes an error with their order; they get the rudest waitress in the restaurant or the worst seat in the house. Well dare I say, if you have had a few bad experiences, you may now subconsciously expect them and true to form they will continue to show up.
This is why Tiger Woods and other athletes are trained to play the game out in their mind before they compete. They learn to subconsciously create the desired outcome, not focus on past mistakes. So, if you are about to address something where there is a lot at stake, give yourself a check-up from the neck up first, because your subconscious will win every time.
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Kim Welcome CEO of
Influential Voice works with progressive companies and individuals who
are concerned that unrefined communication skills may be hindering their
growth and advancement. She helps them to increase their power to
influence for greater productivity and impact. For more info visit www.influentialvoice.com. For a Free Speech & Voice Evaluation email firstname.lastname@example.org.