Have you ever experienced the
result of a relationship that was broken, and asked yourself the question, where
did you go wrong?
When a relationship with whom
ever is ended, it didn’t just happen; an accumulation of events transpired and
now you are seeing the results of it.
When disruptive behavior
shows up in the lives of their children, parents seems surprised. However, it
parents lack consistency
with their children. This is one of the mistakes that parents admits to, and
can become costly in the future.
The parent/child relationship
is similar to a teacher/student relationship. When counseling children, they
have a difficulty of doing well in a teacher’s class that they don’t like. When
a parent comes to that period of teaching their children some values that they
don’t appreciate, the child then reacts as if the parent is the enemy.
I have worked with children
who have shown antipathy towards their parents for not listening to them.
Children can be very mischievous at times, but they also need an ear that would
listen to them. When children are not heard they will find someone to listen,
and it’s normally the wrong persons. When children have gone too far, parents
then come to admit that
they made a
mistake by not listening to their child/children.
The ancient manuscript states
be ye angry and sin not (Ephesians 4:26) One of the mistakes that parents
admits to is
punishing their children
while in anger. The things that was said and done to our children in anger,
we as parents owe them our deepest apology. Punishing your child in anger
doesn’t convey the right message. Many parents abuse their children while
punishing in anger, the best way to get a message across to your children is to
be calm about it.
When children are at a young
age parents allow them to get away with murder (figuratively speaking). Parents
admit that they have
accepted a certain
behavior from their children because of age that they shouldn’t have
tolerated at home. After children have grown to a certain age, some parents
then allow their children to parent them. What a tragedy!
Parenting today’s children
have become very challenging with all of the devices that are competing for our
children time and attention.
Parents have admitted to
guilt rather than reason. Using
guilt is a poor way of getting our children to respond to us, reason and logics
works best; it helps our children with coping skills.
I must remind parents that
your home ought to be a place of refuge, peace, and contentment; it should
really be a haven for your children to come home to. When parents are stress
for various reasons they admit to
their children rather than confronting the problem. When incidents like
that happens it usually affects the parent/child relationship in a negative
Sometimes parenting can
become very complex at times, the parent’s tent to
lose a sense of humor with their children
. It sometimes sends a message to the child that is very easily
offended, that you as the parent are no longer enjoying the child’s company.
One of the other mistakes
that parents mention is not allowing their child/children
to fail at any cost. Sometimes in allowing our children to fail can
be the most valuable lessons that parents can ever teach them.
There are some mistakes that
can be corrected easily with a little work, and there are others that we can
pay a life time for if we are not observant.
As parents we must not make
the mistake of having unrealistic expectation for our children.
Pastor Wayne W. Carey
is a Youth and Assistant
Pastor- Counselor- Conflict Resolution Strategist- Author- Speaker- Self-Esteem Elevation
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