I had the opportunity this past week to attend a conference in Denver, Colorado hosted by Smart Marriages: The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education. One thing that kept coming back to my mind as I sat in workshop after workshop is that on the one hand, there is this very strong and vibrant movement in the United States of America trying to keep marriages vibrant and alive and then there is an equally driving force trying to change the meaning and sanctity of marriage.

There are some states in the United States that have allowed the definition of marriage to change to involve same sex unions. This debate of whether or not homosexuals should get married continues to get hundreds of hours of media attention around the world, while very little attention is given to couples who have been married for 30, 40, 50 or even 60 years.

It seems that the traditional model of marriage, that is, between a man and a woman, has been so badly wounded over the years that many movements and initiatives have been created in an effort to sustain and uplift marriage, while homosexuals are attempting to redefine marriage in the 21^st century.

The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education is dedicated to making marriage education more widely available –to getting information about marriage out of the research labs and to the public. It is the Coalition’s belief that people can "get smarter" about marriage, and, that when they know better, they will do better. ( http://www.smartmarriages.com/ )

The statistics in the USA report that almost half of first time marriages end in divorce. While I am unable to quote the statistics for The Bahamas, we too have a serious problem in this country with regards to healthy marriages. Far too many families are headed by women, which means that many of our people are not even getting married.

There are many who preach from the pulpits about homosexuals wanting to get married and how that goes against God’s teachings. But is it a part of the Divine Plan for men and women to have children and not allow these children to grow up in a healthy family with a mother and father present to them each day?

I strongly believe that there is a direct link to the violence in our society and the dysfunctional family structures that now exist. There is much research that suggests that delinquent, violent, anti-social and even criminal behaviours exhibited among people is directly linked to their broken homes.

The research further suggests that children who come from divorced or single parents do not do very well educationally, financially, or emotionally. It then becomes a vicious cycle that perpetuates itself generation after generation until someone eventually smartens up and makes a change.

While you may be smart at your job or in the classroom, marrying dumb not only hurts you but it adversely affects the children who may be procreated in this marriage. It is therefore crucial for healthy marriages to exist in order that a society can sustain itself spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially.

The murder rate is almost double what it was in 2006. There are five months left in the year, and more murders can be expected. Unless we take some radical steps to examine ourselves and how we contribute to this crime level, it will only get worse.

Women must stop being selfish and arrogant in thinking that they do not need a man to have and raise a child. Yes, while you may be independent and can very easily go to a sperm bank to have your child, you are denying that child the opportunity to share fully in the human experience, that is, having a mother and a father.

This week I challenge all single people to see marriage as an option rather than cohabitating without any real commitment to each other. I further challenge married couples to be smart and find ways to keep your marriage healthy so that it can survive four, five or even six decades of wonderful rollercoaster rides.