When my six year old niece was three years old and had just returned from a trip to Florida she was quite eager to tell me about her plane ride that went “up and down, up and down.” She then went on to tell me that when it was time to get off the plane a lady helped her down the stairs. I asked her if she thanked the lady for helping her and with the total innocence of a three year old, she opened up her eyes, put her hands to her cheeks and said quite ruefully, “oh, I forgot to thank her.”

Teaching a child how and when to say the phrase “thank you” has been an almost natural part of child rearing. Holding out an object for a child to receive is normally followed by the adult saying “ta-ta?” The child then takes the object and mimics the adult, thus saying “ta-ta.”

Now I am pleasantly surprised to hear a child or teenager use those two words juxtaposed to each other. When I was growing up it was considered rude, disrespectful and downright ill mannered if one did not say “thank you” at the appropriate times.

Three years ago Citi group had an advertising campaign entitled “Thank You” which said a lot about us as a developing race of people. One commercial these Citi Group television advertisements had a woman mistakenly congratulate another woman on being pregnant. When the woman said that she was not pregnant, the other lady recovered from this most embarrassing situation by simply saying, with intonation in her voice, “thank you?” The woman was so overcome by these two words that she replied “Who me?” and embraced the lady.

It seems that “thank you” has become so foreign to the average person, that it is now a feel good, warm and fuzzy phrase that makes people feel good about themselves and the world around them.

According to the Library of Universal Knowledge, thank you is a colloquial or informal contraction of the phrase I thank you. The Anglo-Saxon word thanks is defined as an “expression of gratitude; an acknowledgement made to express a sense of favour or kindness received or offered.”

Any civilized society would agree that in order for common decency to exist among its members, participants within the society must be able to express gratitude to each other. The Citi Group used this as the premise for its whole ad campaign, being that the simple phrase thank you is an acceptable form of payment for a kind deed or action between two people.

But I can’t help but wonder how true this premise is in our society. My niece forgot to tell the lady thank you for assisting her down a flight of stairs, but even that age, she recognized that it was wrong of her to not have said it. However, I have great difficulty accepting that a child already in primary school needs to be reminded to say thank you.

The sad reality is that even adults do not use that phrase as they should, hence the children are not using it. I believe that it should be second nature for a human being to thank someone who does something for them, even if you are paying them for the service.

After each tennis lesson, for which I must pay, I thank my instructor. I thank the camp counselors, whom I must pay, for their good work during the week at my summer camp. Each time I visit a restaurant and a waiter brings something to the table I thank him as well as tip him for this kind service.

Saying thank you really doesn’t take much effort and really does have a profound effect on the person who is at the receiving end. So why are we not teaching and reinforcing this to our children? Over and over again people say that if they had to select between two equally qualified candidates for a particular job, it would come down to attitude rather than aptitude. And in our society we still seem to struggle with this concept.

Parents cannot concern themselves about what is the “in thing” to do or not to do when it comes to raising morally conscious human beings. And I think the first step in raising a generous child with a sense of humility is teaching him/her the simple phrase “ta-ta” that will eventually turn into “thank you.” I mean a great corporation like Citi Group thought it was so important to say thank you that they spent millions of dollars on a very successful advertising campaign.

Even if you are one who drops your “th’s” we understand what you mean when you say “tanks.” Whether it’s said correctly or not, just say it with sincerity and humility so that it may become second nature to you. So today, I say a heartfelt thank you to you for taking the time to read my column, Opinions.

About the author: Joye Ritchie-Greene is an Educational Consultant, Writer and Martial Arts Instructor. She is the owner/operator of The Bahamas Martial Arts Academy; president of Time-Out Productions; and is also a columnist for the Freeport News. She has a B.A. in English and an M.S. in Human Resources, resides in Freeport, Grand Bahama with her husband and enjoys playing tennis. Joye can be reached at joye_hel_ena@hotmail.com